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If you've ever dreamed of being a contestant, reading a funny first-person account can't hurt your chances.

Gawker has a hilarious personal account about how one guy tried to game the game show system –and won.

Not the whole thing, and not himself, but his girlfriend was picked as a contestant and got an iPad, designer handbags, a fistful of cash and other stuff. First, he sought advice from past contestants…

The veterans briefed us on the procedures: You show up early (though not as early as you had to in the Bob Barker days), you sit around, and you get interviewed in a group of about 15 or 20. That interview is the lone means producers have of selecting the nine contestants who’ll be called out of the audience of 300. The goal is to toe the line between enthusiasm and transparent, annoying fakeness. Nobody knew if I should shave my beard or not.

Read the whole thing. He researched tons of past episodes, interrogated previous contestants, got there at the very last minute (after running a red light) shouting at one producer and sweet-talking another.

There are even blinking Price Is Right lights separating the story sections.

Stacy Johnson

It's not the usual blah, blah, blah

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