The Week in Review: Funny Money Stories

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1. Porsche sells Malbec to keep Argentine access

If you think U.S. big business is messed up, don’t move to Argentina – where the government “is forcing sellers of foreign-made cars to become exporters of everything from bio-diesel to bottled water in return for access to an auto market,” Bloomberg reports. That means Porsche must sell wine, Mitsubishi will export peanuts, and “imported Subarus will be matched by sales of chicken feed to Chile.”

2. States come calling for higher taxes on sweets

Halloween was real scary for anyone who hates new taxes. “Get ready to shell out a few extra pennies for the tax man,” MSNBC reports, “at least in the 17 states that have special taxes on candy.” And like any other tax, it can get complicated: “Many states struggle to define candy, exempting cookie-like bars such as Kit-Kat and Twix, for example.”

3. Janet Jackson exposure: Court backs CBS over Super Bowl fine

The wheels of justice turn very slowly. Especially when celebrity breasts are involved. “A federal appeals court on Wednesday upheld its finding that the Federal Communications Commission acted improperly in fining CBS over the fleeting exposure of Janet Jackson’s breast during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show,” USA Today reports. That’s six years of litigation.

4. Is this the next Snuggie?

Forget the kids. What’s gonna be the hottest adult holiday gift? According to CNN, “Fleece onesies for adults, slippers with flashlights, and cake on a stick.” Oh, and pet vacuums.

5. Snooki Inc.

She became famous on MTV’s reality show Jersey Shore when a guy punched her in the face in a bar. Now her personal appearances cost $20,000. “The 23-year-old has capitalized on her screen time by creating a brand that boasts everything from Snooki sunglasses and flip-flops to mobile games and apps,” CNN reports.

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