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No one ever went broke underestimating the American public’s hunger to buy, buy, buy. How else can you explain things like Etsy, subscription boxes and the Apple Watch?
Often the product seemed like such a good idea at the time. If I had an ice-cream maker/bread machine/doughnut bakery, I would save so much money! Generally, though, such things get used once or twice and then end up at Goodwill.
Perhaps your buyer’s remorse sounds even more expensive:
An exercise bike and treadmill would keep me in shape all year long!
Hang gliding looks like fun!
A timeshare would be a great place for family reunions!
We can’t fix your previous shopping mistakes. However, we can help prevent additional buyer’s remorse — or at least up to 43 occasions of it. Read on, don’t buy and save yourself a lot of money.
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If you haven’t found the Poo-pourri ads on your own, someone probably sent them to you. They feature a classy blonde with a British accent who’s frequently seen on the toilet and who likes to discuss the ferocity of her bowel movements.
The product is a mixture of essential oils that you spritz into the toilet before taking a seat. The idea is that Poo-pourri prevents you from embarrassing yourself or inconveniencing others.
But this crap is expensive ($9.95 and up, plus shipping) and a total waste of money. That’s because the same pocket or bag that holds the little spray bottle will also hold something you can generally can get for free to address the smell: a book of matches.
2. Baby shoes
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Infants don’t walk. So why spend a ton of money on unnecessary footwear?
Yes, we know that those miniature Mary Janes and teeny-tiny tennis shoes are just so cuuuuute. Still pointless, though.
If you really love your baby, put the money you would have spent on infant wingtips into a college savings plan.
Seriously: No one cares about what your kid has on his feet.
3. Credit monitoring
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The Equifax data breach struck fear in many hearts. That panic sounds like dollar signs to the companies that sell credit monitoring services.
Don’t go there, advises Money Talks News founder Stacy Johnson.
“Monitoring your credit is marketed as if it’s a burglar alarm that keeps bad guys out. But what it more closely resembles is an alarm that’s tripped as the bad guys are leaving,” he says.
“By definition, credit monitoring can only monitor transactions that have already occurred. What you want is to prevent them from happening in the first place.”
If you’re concerned about the data breach — and you should be — then read Stacy’s article, “4 Reasons You Should Never Pay for Credit Monitoring.”
4. Greeting cards
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It’s hard to get out of a card store without spending at least $3.50 per card. And there’s a card for every occasion: birthday, anniversary, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Easter, Thanksgiving, first Communion, quinceañera, confirmation, graduation — and even, heaven help us, Halloween and St. Patrick’s Day.
To say nothing of “attaboy” cards, get-well cards, “just because” cards or cards that purport to be “from me and the cat” or “from the dog.”
E-cards are free. Pen and paper are cheap, and you probably already have both in case you need to send good wishes.
If you’re absolutely determined to send cards, buy them at discount drugstores and department stores that sell boxed sets; you’ll wind up paying about 30 cents per card. Don’t need a box of 10 or 12? Then buy at the dollar store, where they’ll probably be two for a buck.
Oh, and if you make even a single donation to a nonprofit agency, chances are good that you’ll start getting batches of cards from them in an effort to get you to donate again. Since households like mine receive so many of those things, we tend to give them to thrift stores — so check your local secondhand shop.
Photo (cc) by Chin
Your phone has a ringtone already, or maybe more than one. Use it.
6. Keurig cleaners
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Yes: A cleaning solution for those single-serve coffee makers is now being marketed.
A friend was shopping when an elderly man asked for help with the directions on a $13 bottle of Keurig cleaner. Should he use the entire bottle, all at once?
Yes, she said, and no: “I told him to go find the vinegar aisle and try that first.”
Don’t waste your money on a special cleaner. Take our friend’s advice and use vinegar, which is magic. (It works on multicup coffee makers, too.)
7. Instant microwaveable rice
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We’re not talking Minute Rice, here, but rather precooked grain in a package. Put it in the microwave and a few seconds later you have a half-cup or so of white, brown or jasmine rice. The cost works out to around $5 a pound.
Rice is one of the world’s easiest things to make: bring a 2-to-1 ratio of water and swamp seed to a boil, reduce heat to barely simmering, and cook until all the water is absorbed. Depending on where you buy the rice (supermarket, ethnic market, dollar store, warehouse club) you’ll pay $1 a pound or less. Maybe a lot less.
Too slow? Fine. Here’s the right way to do instant microwaveable rice: Cook a few cups of the stuff and apportion it among small containers or food storage bags, then freeze it. It’s ready to nuke whenever you need it.
Almost as bizarre as instant microwaveable rice are …
8. Prewashed potatoes
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Hand to God, these things really do exist: scrubbed and wrapped in plastic, ready to be microwaved. Watch for them next time you’re in the produce section of the supermarket. Check their cost against that week’s price for baking potatoes or sweet potatoes. (Hint: They cost a lot more.)
Sure, we sometimes pay a price for convenience. But how hard is it to wash a spud?
And okay, one more food-related forehead-smacker …
9. Cereal “toddler packs”
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While doing a magazine article about food dollars, I wrote about a 1-ounce container of Cheerios. The math worked out to $27.50 per pound for the American toddler’s favorite nibbles.
My guess is that the cost hasn’t gone down since then.
Oh, but the container is so easy for kids to hold onto in the car! the marketers say. Here’s something else that’s easy to hold onto: a sippy cup. Fill one with Cheerios, or generic Cheerios, or whatever cereal your wee one prefers.
That way you’ll hold on to something, too: your hard-earned dollars.
10. Fancy bath salts
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Bath products are big, big business. Here’s a fun fact about most bath salts: They’re actually Epsom salt.
Yes, plain old Epsom salt, the kind the coach used to recommend after a vigorous practice. Dressed up with fragrance and color and placed in frou-frou jars tied with decorative ribbons, they don’t provide any more benefits than the unadorned sodium crystals.
Want a bath-time “experience” at a fraction of the cost? Go on Pinterest and look for DIY bath salts.
Or use this recipe from the Epsom Salt Council: Mix 2 cups of Epsom salt with a few drops of fragrance. Add half a teaspoon of glycerin and a few drops of food coloring, if desired. Mix thoroughly, then store in an airtight container.
Rubber duckies are optional.
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Do we really have to tell you this? They make you stink, they make you sick, and they might even make you dead. They’re expensive, too.
If you must smoke — and you really shouldn’t — then hand-roll your own. It’s hard to nail down exact savings since the cost of tobacco (and the cost of ready-mades) varies so widely. But a purveyor of rolling supplies suggests that given commercial cigarette prices of $3.50 to $14 (!) per pack, someone who smokes a pack a day would save from $686 to $4,518 per year by rolling his own.
Some guy on Reddit, who must be a veritable chimney, claimed that he saves $96 a week this way. Hope he’s putting it aside for the inevitable health problems. And speaking of health, don’t even think of buying ….
12. Detoxes and cleanses
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Follow this “detoxifying” diet or that “cleansing” procedure, and you’ll be miraculously thin! Or miraculously healed, according to the folks who tout regimens they claim will cure everything from gallstones to puppy love.
Hang on to your money, folks. According to the Mayo Clinic, there is little evidence that a “detox diet” will eliminate toxins. Our kidneys and livers do a pretty good job of that all by themselves.
The reason you might feel better afterwards is that you’ve probably given up (temporarily) highly processed foods that are probably loaded with sugar and solid fats.
Some of these regimens, especially restricted diets and “cleanses,” can have unpleasant or even dangerous side effects, including but not limited to bloating, nausea, cramping, vomiting and dehydration.
Since you probably won’t stay on a detox diet forever, the pounds will likely return. If you want to lose weight, ask your physician for a sensible plan that gradually amends your eating habits and includes a program of sustainable exercise.
Stick with the detox diets and purges, however, and the only thing that gets permanently slimmer is your wallet.
13. Scented cat litter
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This product won’t prevent the problem of pet waste odor. It’ll just make the poop and piddle smell like scented poop and piddle.
According to the ASPCA, most felines prefer unscented, clumping products. If your pet doesn’t like the scented kind he may start to, um, think outside the box. A cat may also develop allergies because of the fragrance.
Stay away from the perfume-y stuff. Go with unscented litter and scoop the box frequently.
14. Disposable hand towels
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More or less the same thing as you find in public restrooms. Paper towels for the home — a triumph of marketing.
And just what we do not need: Another thing to pay for over and over, versus cloth hand towels that last for years and years.
We wash our hands of this one.
15. Shopping cart covers
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Seen these? They’re made to provide a cootie-free barrier between your baby and the shopping cart seat.
Some caution probably should be observed. After all, a shopper with a bad cold might have used the cart just before you plopped your baby into the seat. But rather than spend as much as $60 on a cart cover, why not:
- Drape a receiving blanket on the seat and over the handle where the baby is likely to hold on
- Keep a towel in the car and put it on the cart when you shop
- Use those antiseptic wipes stores provide at the door
Any of those options should do the trick — and they don’t cost a thing.
16. Pet costumes
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It’s sad that this is even an issue. But it is. According to the National Retail Federation, 16 percent of pet owners planned to dress their animal companions for Halloween last year.
Don’t turn your pet into a lion or Luke Skywalker. Your wallet will thank you. So would your pet, if he could talk.
Don’t put reindeer antlers on him at Christmas, either. It’s not only costly, it’s really dumb.
17. Cleaning rags
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Shop rags, floor rags – whatever you call them, they’re a waste of your cash.
Instead of throwing away worn-out sheets, T-shirts, blouses and towels, cut them up and use them for housecleaning and any messy garage or shop-related chores.
(Pro tip: Before cutting up an old shirt or blouse, remove the buttons — no need to buy those, either.)
18. Most super-specialized kitchen gadgets
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We’d never deny the need for a few good knives. Take a quick look at a bridal registry or a housewares catalog or store, though, and you’ll see that marketers have lost their ever-lovin’ minds.
Banana slicer. Cookie dough scoop. Egg cracker. Oven-rack pullers. Avocado knives. Pizza scissors, and herb scissors.
Battery-operated flour sifter. Pepper corer. The “world’s fastest bottle opener.” (Gosh, whatever will you do with all those extra fractions of seconds of your life you get back?)
If your BFF is having cookware parties, do not attend. Stay out of housewares stores, too. Otherwise you’ll wind up with overstuffed kitchen cabinets and drawers and an understuffed bank account.
19. Birthday party goodie bags
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Do away with those sacks of gimcracks! There’s tremendous pressure to provide bags of treats for each guest, but who really needs more little plastic toys that will break within hours, if not minutes?
Expect pushback. Children have been socialized to expect handouts, and they might not be shy about expressing their disappointment. Have a calm response ready, such as, “We think it’s important not to buy so much plastic stuff that will just end up in the landfill” or “I’m sorry you’re disappointed, but we don’t do goodie bags. Thank you for attending the party.”
It’s a good idea to let the guests’ parents know in advance that there won’t be any to-go treats. They’ll probably be relieved not to have yet another batch of junk brought home.
The University of Minnesota’s Birthdays Without Pressure project has tips for festive parties without wretched excess.
20. Premium gasoline
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The pricier petrol is almost certainly unnecessary. Even if your owner’s manual recommends premium gas, “the car will typically run on regular without issue and won’t damage the engine in any way,” according to Jason Kavanaugh and Peter Gareffa of Edmunds.com.
They note that drivers used to buy premium now and then to “clean” their engines. But every formulation of today’s fuels has additives in place — no cleaning necessary.
The article has lists of “premium recommended” and “premium required” models, if you want to check. Or just read your owner’s manual — again, differentiating between recommended/required.
Premium-recommended cars will do just fine if you drive moderately and avoid “acceleration with a wide-open throttle.” Unless you’re in a citizens’ racing league, that should be doable.
So do it, and save some dough.
21. Teeth flossers with handles
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The regular floss that comes in rolls is sooo much cheaper. Don’t bother with the disposable ones with handles unless it’s to teach your toddlers how to floss. Graduate him or her to “big-kid” flossing later on.
You get green points for throwing away less plastic, too.
22. Gym membership
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But you’ll totally use it! So it’s totally worth the price!
According to StatisticBrain.com, the average monthly gym cost is $58 — and the number of times an average user goes per month is two. As in twice a month.
Oh, and 67 percent of membership owners never go at all.
Instead of plunking down cash that will disappear into the land of “I’m absolutely going to the gym this week,” check out other ways to get fit. Your budget will thank you, and you won’t feel like a schmuck for paying for something you never use.
23. Electric can openers
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If you’ve got a medical condition that prevents you from using a crank-type opener, then it makes sense to get a power-driven model. The rest of us can probably get by without yet another appliance.
Some manufacturers, such as Kuhn and Oxo, have manual openers so easy to use they practically operate themselves. They store neatly in kitchen drawers, too, versus joining all those other appliances (bread machine, food processor, coffee grinder, et al.) cluttering up the countertops.
Even if you insist on an electric can opener, you should always have a crank-type model as well. Otherwise you’ll have trouble opening those emergency rations come the ice storm, earthquake or hurricane.
24. Cardboard boxes
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Some people pay for moving boxes, shipping boxes, businesslike “banker’s boxes” or storage cartons printed in decorative hues.
But why would you buy boxes when you can get free ones at supermarkets, pharmacies, office-supply places and liquor stores?
- Check the mixed paper and cardboard bins at the recycling center. You’ll find boxes of every shape and size. Some aren’t broken down (grrr … pet peeve); and others have been flattened but can be reshaped and re-taped.
- Any workplace that has printers and/or copy machines likely tosses out perfectly good boxes with lids.
- At the supermarket, politely ask if there are any “apple boxes.” These super-sturdy suckers are great for long-term storage.
- Liquor boxes are great too — after all, they protect bottles from breakage during shipping. I’m storing stuff in a liquor box that’s 41 years old.
Think about it: Why spend four or five bucks for a box, especially since it’s likely to be stored in a closet, storeroom or basement where no one can see it?
25. Baby-food makers
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Companies such as Cuisinart and Baby Brezza have created machines ($100 and up) to strain Junior’s peaches and green beans. There’s even a coffeemaker-like machine that mixes baby formula.
Please. The blender or food processor you already own will do the same thing; so will an artfully wielded fork. And is stirring powder into water really that hard?
(Pro tip: Cook up a bunch of veggies, fruits and meats and freeze the food in dabs on cookie sheets. Store the frozen kiddie cuisine in containers or bags for the next month’s worth of meals.)
26. Bottled water
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More than 25 percent of bottled agua comes from municipal water supplies. Sure, it’s treated and filtered. But it’s still tap water.
If you’re bugged by weird-tasting H2O (hi there, Phoenix!), then treat it yourself with a pitcher or a sink-mounted filtration system. Those with their own wells can have the water tested.
Do your wallet a favor, and skip the bottled stuff. You’ll be doing the planet a favor, too, since all those plastic bottles are going to take hundreds of years to decompose.
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Not so long ago Americans couldn’t seem to get enough of a bizarre garment called the “Snuggie” – essentially, a blanket with sleeves. They’re still available, but thankfully the fuss has died down.
When a colleague found this would be included in the article, she responded with dismay: “I love my Snuggie!”
I love my Snuggie, too, except that it isn’t a Snuggie. It’s a bathrobe. Should I want it to be a Snuggie, I’ll put it on backwards. I suggest you do the same.
28. Just about anything with the “As Seen on TV” logo on it
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See “Snuggies,” above.
29. Elementary school yearbooks
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In these days of desktop publishing, just about anybody can put out a yearbook. And apparently, just about everybody does.
Imagine buying a yearbook every year. That’s seven publications before Junior even hits middle school.
Are your teenage children really going to care about pictures of themselves finger-painting, playing soccer and attending the science fair? Almost certainly not.
And if the kids plead for these fripperies? Tell them, “Sure! Go ahead! As long as you pay with your own money.”
Photo (cc) by Annsi Koskinen
Truth time: What percentage of the DVDs in your house get watched more than once?
Some movies and TV show compilations are priced so ridiculously low that it feels like a good deal to buy instead of rent. That’s rarely the case.
Don’t believe us? Add up all the money you’ve spent on the DVDs in your house. Go ahead. We’ll wait.
Now, don’t buy any more. Either get new releases from the library or look for them on streaming services such as Netflix, Amazon Prime and Hulu.
31. Turkey fryer
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Want to waste some money? Spend $80 to $100 (or more) for a deep-fat fryer! But don’t stop there: You also need to factor in the cost of gallons of vegetable oil plus the propane to fire it up.
(And what do you do with all that grease afterwards?)
Maybe some of you crazy Cajuns are using your turkey fryers, year after year. For most people, it probably stays in the garage — right next to the ice cream maker, bread machine, doughnut bakery and all the other products that seemed so wonderful at the point of purchase.
32. Cable television
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With all the streaming options out there, why are you still tethered to an expensive utility-like cable TV?
Amazon Prime (which has add-ons like Starz and SeeSo), Hulu, Netflix, digital antennas that let you catch local channels, network websites with archived episodes — so much entertainment, so little cost!
For specific tips, see “How to Cut the Cable Cord in 2017.”
33. Sandwich bags and lunch bags
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Are you using and tossing bags every day? What a waste.
Instead, get yourself a reusable container from Rubbermaid or Tupperware. It’ll hold your sandwiches (or your salads) for darn-near-ever, and you’ll throw far fewer bits of plastic into the landfill.
No reason in the world to buy and toss lunch bags, either. Either purchase a lunchbox or tote your PBJs in whatever bag you have around the house.
34. Name-brand OTC meds
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The best deal is the house brand medicine from warehouse stores. I paid less for a year’s worth of not-Zyrtec from Costco than I’d pay for a month’s worth at the drugstore.
Not a warehouse club member? Get the chain drugstore or discount department store brand, then. If you aren’t sure what’s what, talk to a pharmacist.
Note: You might be able to get the name brand cheaper if you match coupons to sale prices. The CouponMom.com website does a state-by-state list of such matchups.
35. “Artisanal” booze
Photo (cc) by Travis Wise
That small-batch of artisanal liquor for which you pay a premium might not actually be produced in-house. That’s because startup distilleries need years to age their alcohol properly; until it’s ready to sell, they source their booze from elsewhere.
In other words, when you think you’re buying a feisty, independent spirit cooked up by a feisty, independent distiller, you might actually be getting mass-produced hooch from Indiana.
Here’s a tip: Find out how long the company has been in business and compare that with the age of the alcohol. A distillery that popped its first cork two years ago can’t possibly be selling its own five-year-old spirits.
Besides, you don’t have to go with a small-batch company to get a drinkable product. Talk to a knowledgeable liquor-store salesman, or a whiskey sommelier (yep, that’s a job) if you can find one.
36. Expensive wedding dress
Photo (cc) by Jung Yen-Kuo
The average wedding dress cost $1,564 in 2016, according to TheKnot.com.
Averages lie, of course. You might pay as little as $250 for an off-the-rack wedding dress. But you could also pay anywhere from $2,500 to $25,000.
All that money for something you wear once? Dumb. And please don’t tell us that your daughter and maybe your granddaughter will proudly wear the same dress. First of all, they might very well want their own overpriced frocks. Second, $25,000 ÷ the three of you = still dumb.
You don’t have to break the bank to say “I do.” For more than a dozen frugal hacks, see “Pay Less for Your Perfect Wedding Dress.”
37. Pre-cut produce
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Any time a store does something to a fruit or vegetable before putting it out for sale, you’ll pay up to 40 percent more to buy it.
So slice your own melon, cut up your own carrots, and make your own salads. It won’t take as long as you think, and the prep work is totally worth the money.
(Pro tip: Set aside half an hour after grocery shopping to wash, chop and store enough produce for the next few days.)
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Dolls. Clown figurines. Silver sets. Commemorative mugs. Itty-bitty clay puppies and kittens. A rack full of ceramic thimbles. Keepsake plates of your favorite golfers.
Dust-catchers, all of them. Budget-busters, too.
How long since you actually noticed your collection of whatever-it-is? Are all these tchotchkes displayed on shelves in rooms where you rarely sit?
Or maybe some of it is packed away in boxes because you’ve long since run out of room yet still keep buying bear- or penguin-related items. (Or maybe receiving them for your birthday every year because you’re too timid to say, “Please stop.”)
Rethink what you decide to accumulate. Over time, it’s taking up space and costing a bundle. Just because you’ve collected “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” ephemera since you were a teen doesn’t mean you have to keep doing so. If it’s neither useful nor pleasing, it’s just clutter.
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To paraphrase eccentric scientist Sheldon from the show “The Big Bang Theory,” you’re basically paying for expensive urine.
Anyone who is reasonably healthy and eats a wide variety of foods probably doesn’t need multivitamins, according to Mayo.org. In some cases supplements are called for — pregnant women should take prenatal vitamins, for instance — but talk to your doctor first.
Otherwise, you’re wasting your money.
40. Prom and graduation souvenirs
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Prom-themed photo frames, water bottles, sunglasses, candles, mugs, mint tins – in a couple of years, who’s going to care? Heck, in a couple of weeks, who’s going to care?
Ditto high-school graduation ephemera like a bow in your school colors to display on the mailbox, a “Class of 2017” tassel to hang from the rear-view mirror, a “Congratulations, Graduate!” sign for the front yard …
Why do we let the Prom and Graduation Industrial Complex determine how we celebrate our children’s milestones? The money you’d sink into this kind of schlock would do a lot more good in your student’s higher education fund.
Will your kids feel left out if they don’t get all the prom and graduation favors? Maybe. But in a very short time, they’ll move on.
41. Infused water
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Water with vitamins, minerals, flavoring and maybe even “sugar alcohols” can run as much as $3.50 a bottle, according to Cheapism.com.
However, the website says, “the health claims about nutrient-enhanced water are largely unsubstantiated. The synthetic vitamins probably don’t provide the same benefits as vitamins found in a healthy diet. Plus, many fancy waters contain large amounts of sugar.”
Instead, Cheapism suggests, you should bring your own water from home — and if you like, toss in some fresh fruit.
42. Diaper Genie
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How did parents ever manage before this was invented? Imagine the stench as the pile of filthy disposables grew and grew on the floors of their children’s rooms. Thank heavens the Diaper Genie came along and rid nurseries of the horror of stinky baby butts.
This idea is just so revolutionary! Imagine: a container for dirty didies that has a “foot pedal for easy, hands-free diaper disposal.”
Except that this product already exists. It’s called a trash can.
Some frustrated parents on Amazon talked of pedals that broke, and “odor-free” promises that broke, too. As one mom noted, “It’s nothing more than a glorified, expensive garbage pail.”
We couldn’t agree more. And while we’re on the subject …
43. Baby wipe warmers
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You could pay anywhere from $15 to more than $50 for a little device designed to keep those wet wipes toasty-warm.
What a dangerous precedent that sets. When you’re shopping or hiking or on a trip, do you plan to pack the warmer and some really long extension cords?
Sure, it’s a bit of a shock to have a cool cloth touch a bare backside. But it takes only a few seconds, folks. Your baby will get over it.
Consider unwarmed wipes an object lesson that’s best learned early: Life is often startling and sometimes downright cold.
What is on your “never-buy” list? Share with us in comments below or on our Facebook page.