“Police say a man tried to open an account before robbing a central Pennsylvania bank, but only after he’d already handed over two forms of identification,” The Associated Press reported. Needless to say, police quickly nabbed him.
In Ohio, the bank robbers aren’t any smarter. “A man robbed a bank and then tried to flee on board a public bus, where officers eventually caught up with him,” the Dayton Daily News reported.
A crook almost cooked to death while trying to rob a Paesan’s Pizza in upstate New York. “Police answering cries for help on Friday found a screaming burglar dangling from a ceiling air vent over a hot fat fryer at an upstate New York restaurant,” Reuters reported.
Meanwhile, a thief in Boise called the cops. “An Idaho man suspected of stealing a wallet from the desk of a prospective employer has been arrested after calling police to report that his wallet was missing,” the Idaho Statesman reports.
And from overseas: In the West African nation of Tanzania, the president is under fire because the government has hired thousands of no-show workers, costing $9 billion. “A total of at least 3,000 ghost workers were revealed during an inspection in education, health and judicial sectors only in the last three years,” reported The Citizen newspaper.