A growing number of Americans in their 40s and 50s, born between 1965 and 1980, have discovered that the so-called sandwich generation faces an exhausting reality that’s becoming increasingly difficult to manage.
New research from Finance of America paints a sobering picture of what happens when you’re simultaneously raising kids and caring for aging parents. And the trends are moving in the wrong direction.
The exhaustion is real
About one-third of Americans aged 40 to 60 report significant emotional, physical, and financial strain from their dual caregiving roles, according to a Finance of America survey conducted in late 2025.
What’s particularly striking is how much worse things have gotten in just a few years. Among those who identify as sandwich caregivers:
- 86% report emotional exhaustion from caring for parents, up from 79% in 2022.
- 80% report physical exhaustion, up from 71% three years earlier.
- 69% are financially drained, rising from 64%.
- 76% struggle with fears and emotions tied to parental care, up from 70%.
These aren’t small jumps. The pressures seem to be compounding, with inflation and rising costs adding fuel to an already difficult situation during what should be peak earning years.
Careers have taken a hit
Caregiving responsibilities are forcing many Gen Xers to make impossible choices about their professional lives.
About a quarter of adults overall feel they must choose between their career and caring for their parents. Among those who truly feel sandwiched, that number more than doubles to 57%.
One in five adults has delayed a major life event due to caregiving responsibilities. For sandwich caregivers specifically, that figure jumps to 45%. The most common things being pushed back are homeownership and marriage.
Delayed home purchases or choosing between career and caregiving could all have ripple effects that last for decades.
Living arrangements loom large
Nearly 30% of survey respondents expect their parents to eventually move in with them. And a similar percentage say their parents have already asked for help with expenses.
Perhaps most poignant is that 26% of respondents report that their parents have said they hadn’t planned on living this long. That unexpected longevity creates added strain on both aging parents and their adult caregivers.
Men and women feel the squeeze differently
The survey revealed an interesting split in how caregiving burdens fall along gender lines. Men report feeling more of the financial pressure, while women tend to shoulder more of the emotional and physical caregiving work. Neither experience is easier than the other. They’re just different flavors of the same difficult situation.
It’s time to talk
The encouraging news is that there’s something relatively simple that seems to make a real difference.
Only 39% of respondents have had a conversation about their parents’ finances in the past year. But when asked what would happen if they did have that honest discussion:
- 60% say they’d feel less overwhelmed
- 63% believe they’d worry less
- 84% think it would help their family focus on what truly matters
That’s a pretty compelling case for having what might feel like an awkward conversation. Knowing where your parents stand financially, whether they have long-term care insurance, what their retirement accounts look like, and what their wishes are for future care can help you plan rather than simply react.
Smart moves for sandwich generation caregivers
As life expectancy increases and more people delay having children, the overlap between raising children and caring for parents could become more common. If you’re feeling squeezed from both directions, consider taking some proactive steps:
- Start the money talk with your parents now. Don’t wait for a crisis. Ask about their financial situation, their plans for healthcare costs, and whether they’ve considered how they’ll handle potential mobility or cognitive changes.
- Look into your employer’s benefits. Many companies now offer caregiver support programs, flexible scheduling, or employee assistance programs that could help.
- Explore community resources. Local agencies on aging, respite care programs, and caregiver support groups exist specifically to help people in your situation.
- Protect your own financial future. It’s tempting to sacrifice everything for your kids and parents, but depleting your retirement savings or derailing your career could leave you in the same position decades from now. If you have more than $100,000 in savings, consider getting advice from a pro. SmartAsset offers a free service that matches you to a vetted, fiduciary advisor bound to act in your best interests.
The path forward requires both practical planning and emotional resilience. But the research suggests that starting those difficult conversations could be the single most important thing you do to ease the burden for everyone involved.
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