Jean Chatzky, CEO of HerMoney and education fellow with the Retirement Income Institute, says too many pre-retirees are sacrificing their own financial future for family members. In her words,
“It is one thing to provide financial support to family when you can afford to do so,” she says. “But it’s a whole new level of commitment and sacrifice to keep doing it while risking your own future financial security or physical health.”
A 2025 survey conducted by Ipsos for the Alliance for Lifetime Income asked 3,500 Americans ages 45 to 75 how they balance family obligations with saving for retirement.
The results show that the struggle runs deep, and the tradeoffs are often self-defeating.
The hidden price of family generosity
The study found that 17% of Americans support adult children 26 and older, while 10% help grandchildren and 7% assist parents or in-laws. More than half of those supporters say their generosity hurts their ability to save for retirement.
When asked what they would give up to stretch savings, only 15% said they would reduce family aid. The rest would rather live with less. Fifty-eight percent said they would accept a lower standard of living, and 21% were willing to skip medical care.
Chatzky says this pattern shows how emotional loyalty can override long-term planning. “Caregiving and financial commitments to family should always be a part of the retirement planning conversation,” she says, “because it’s clear people feel very strongly about keeping these promises regardless of the cost to themselves.”
Health care costs threaten future stability
Medical expenses are now neck and neck with inflation as the top concern for retirees. Sixty percent of respondents said they worry about health costs, and 67% fear a major health event could derail their plans.
The study also found that only 32% of Americans have contingency plans for potential cognitive decline, and just one-third feel confident they could act as caregivers for a spouse. That lack of preparation leaves many vulnerable to both financial and emotional strain later in life.
Before writing another check for a family member’s emergency, Chatzky suggests reviewing your own coverage. Pricing out supplemental Medicare or long-term care insurance early can keep future costs manageable and reduce the temptation to dip into savings later.
If you have a high-deductible health plan, consider a Health Savings Account. Check out Lively HSAs.
Gen X carries extra weight
As the oldest Gen Xers turn 60, they face retirement with less of a safety net. Only 14% have access to traditional pensions, compared with the majority of boomers. Many doubt Social Security will provide full benefits by the time they retire.
Jason Fichtner, executive director of the Retirement Income Institute, says the lack of guaranteed income means Gen Xers must be more proactive. “This is the first generation where the overwhelming majority won’t have a pension to rely on for retirement income,” he explains, “and that means retirement planning is even more challenging for them.”
When Gen Xers give money to relatives, they are not just giving away cash; they are chipping away at the private pension they will have to build for themselves.
When an annuity makes sense
An annuity is a financial tool that lets you turn part of your savings into a regular paycheck for the future. You pay an insurance company now, and they promise to send you a steady income later — often for as long as you live.
With total annuity sales reaching a record $119.5 billion in the second quarter of 2025, more Americans are converting part of their 401(k) balance into guaranteed income. Fichtner notes that many employers now offer annuities within workplace plans, and Gen Xers are increasingly interested in that option.
Turning a portion of your savings into guaranteed income can help remove the temptation to dip into funds meant for your future security. It also locks away money you are less likely to spend on family handouts.
Talk to a planner before problems grow
Only 28% of Americans have discussed caregiving costs or family support with a financial professional. Those conversations can surface the hidden pressure points that derail savings goals.
A good planner can model different scenarios to show how recurring family support affects cash flow, investment returns, and long-term care needs. Even a few small adjustments—like automatic transfers to a separate family fund—can help draw firm boundaries.
If you currently have more than $100,000 in savings, AdvisorMatch's free service connects you with experienced financial professionals who have successful track records helping people.
Protect your future to protect your family
Before sending more money to help family, pause and look at your own balance sheet. Will your generosity today make it harder or impossible to cover your needs tomorrow? Could you end up burdening your family in ways you could avoid?
Protecting your finances is not a lack of care. It is how you ensure you can keep supporting the people who rely on you. Clear boundaries and steady planning help you stay generous without risking your own future. Take it one step further and save time, money, and family stress by creating a will.
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