I use my smartphone a lot. I read the news on it, check the markets on it and stay in touch with people I love on it.
But here’s the difference between me and so many other people: My phone doesn’t decide what I do next. I do.
When it buzzes, I don’t jump. I grew up when you returned calls when it was convenient, not the second somebody reached out. That still strikes me as a perfectly sane way to live.
This isn’t because I’m a technology Yoda. It’s because I’m 71 and this is the way I grew up.
Most Americans apparently wish they had that kind of control. In a recent Pew Research Center survey, 53% of U.S. adults said they’re on their phones more than they should be. About 1 in 4 said they’re on them almost constantly.
Here’s the part that makes my blood boil. All that scrolling is a product, and you’re not the customer. Advertisers are.
In April, May and June of 2026, Meta — the company behind Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp — took in $26.3 billion in ad revenue tied to users in the U.S. and Canada, according to its earnings presentation.
Do the math, and that’s roughly $289 million a day, earned off the attention of people like you and me.
Meanwhile, the Bloomberg Billionaires Index pegs Mark Zuckerberg’s fortune at about $263 billion as of mid-October. That’s more money than anyone could spend in a hundred lifetimes.
We only get so many hours on this planet. Time is the one currency that, once spent, never comes back. So when you hand your hours to a social media app, you’re making a trade.
Who would you rather make rich: you or Mark?
Here are five ways I keep my phone working for me instead of the other way around.
1. You don’t owe anyone an instant reply
A ringing phone isn’t an emergency. A text isn’t a summons. Somewhere along the way, we started acting as if every message demands an answer within seconds, and that’s simply not true.
I love my friends. I also answer them when it suits me. Nobody’s ever stopped being my friend because I returned a text after dinner instead of during it.
If you’re worried about missing something important, there’s an easy fix. Both iPhones and Android phones let you silence everything except the people you choose. Put your spouse, your kids and your doctor on that list, and let everything else wait.
Once people learn you don’t answer instantly, they stop expecting it. My friends have learned that if they expect an instant answer, they should text my always-on wife, because I’m not certain to respond immediately.
In my book, that’s not rude. That’s having a life.
2. Turn off almost every notification
Every ping, banner and red dot on your screen has one job: to pull you back in. They’re not there to help you. They’re there to keep you scrolling, because scrolling is what gets sold to advertisers.
This isn’t just my opinion. In a study published by Stanford’s Institute for Economic Policy Research, economists ran an experiment and found evidence that social media is habit-forming. By their estimate, self-control problems account for 31% of the time people spend on it.
In plain English, nearly a third of that scrolling happens because people have trouble stopping, not because they planned to do it.
The same researchers found something encouraging: When people could lock in screen-time caps ahead of time, their use dropped substantially. Willpower is a weak tool. Settings are a strong one.
So go into your phone’s notification settings and be ruthless. Keep calls and texts from real people. Turn off the rest: social media, news alerts, games and especially shopping apps. You’ll be amazed how much calmer your day gets.
3. When you’re with people, be with people
Here’s my pet peeve. I’m sitting with someone, and they’re texting someone else while pretending they can be with two people at once.
They can’t, not really. When your eyes are on your phone, the person across the table gets the leftovers.
I don’t think people mean to be rude. These apps are built to grab attention, and they’re very good at it. But that’s exactly why you need a rule.
Mine is simple: When I’m with people, the phone stays in my pocket. If I truly have to check it, I say so first, ask to be excused, and keep it short.
That small courtesy tells the people in front of me they matter more than whoever’s on the screen.
Keep this in mind. Very few humans are capable of multitasking. The vast majority of us aren’t multitasking; we’re prioritizing.
In other words, when we’re at lunch and you’re texting with someone else, you’re literally letting me know the person on your phone is more important than I am.
Fine. Let them pick up the check.
One thing before we keep going — the financial world is louder and dumber than ever. Hot takes everywhere. Almost none of it is worth your time. I’ve spent 35+ years cutting through the noise so you don’t have to. Sign up for the free Money Talks Newsletter — 10 seconds, no spam, just the stuff that matters.
4. Social media is a store with no checkout line
The longer you scroll, the more ads you see. And those ads aren’t random. They’re aimed at you based on your age, your interests and your shopping habits.
That makes social media a store that never closes, with a salesperson who knows your weak spots. It’s no accident that buying something takes one tap.
It also makes it a hunting ground for crooks. According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), nearly 30% of the people who told the agency they’d lost money to a scam in 2025 said the con began on social media. Those reported losses totaled $2.1 billion.
Shopping scams topped the list of reports. Of the people who lost money to a scam that began on social media, more than 40% said they’d bought something they spotted in an ad on the platform.
Scammers didn’t just steal from people who were looking for trouble. They stole from people who were scrolling.
We dug into why the platforms that sell these ads are coming under scrutiny in “Scammers Took $3.5 Billion by Posing As Someone You Trust. Social Media Let Them In.”
My defense is a cooling-off period. If I see something I want in a social media ad, I wait at least a day. Most of the time, the urge is gone by morning.
If it isn’t, I search the company’s name plus “scam” or “complaint” before I spend a dime, which is exactly what the FTC recommends.
It also helps to remove saved credit cards from social media and shopping apps. Making yourself type in a card number is a speed bump, and speed bumps save money.
If those one-tap purchases have been adding up, it’s worth seeing exactly where your money goes. Here’s a place to find a budgeting tool that can show you.
5. Look at your real number, then decide what it’s worth
Your phone already knows how much time you spend on it. On an iPhone, it’s under Screen Time. On most Android phones, it’s under Digital Wellbeing. Take a look, and brace yourself.
Then do what I’ve preached for decades: Turn time into money.
Let’s say your phone eats three hours a day. That’s 1,095 hours a year — the equivalent of about 27 full 40-hour workweeks. If your time is worth $25 an hour, that’s $27,375 worth of your life, every year.
Would you work six months for free so a billionaire could get richer? Of course not. But that’s the trade a lot of us are making without thinking about it.
You don’t have to throw your phone in a lake. Just decide how much time it deserves, and use the built-in limits to hold yourself to it.
You won’t be alone. Pew found that 45% of U.S. adults made an effort to use their phones less in the past year. Only about a quarter of those people called their effort extremely or very successful, which tells me willpower alone won’t cut it. Use the tools.
Here’s a bonus worth considering: Pew also found that 41% of adults say their phone hurts their sleep. Charging yours outside the bedroom is free, and it might give you back more than just time.
The bottom line
Your phone is a tool, and a wonderful one. But a tool is supposed to work for you.
The companies behind your favorite apps will do just fine without a few hours of your attention. Mark Zuckerberg isn’t going to miss them.
You might, though. Spend them on the people in front of you, the things you love and the life you’re actually living.
That’s a trade I’ll make every time.
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