Editor's Note: This story originally appeared on Live and Invest Overseas.
It’s simultaneously the easiest and the most difficult thing you’ll do — moving abroad and settling into your new life.
You’ll find yourself sipping a glass of vinho verde on a Wednesday afternoon with the winter sun shining on your face.
You won’t think twice about the snow, the politics, or whatever else you left behind (or maybe you might think of it intensely as you find yourself deeply appreciating this new stage in your life).
Those will be the easy moments.
Easy living isn’t always easy
But then, you’ll find yourself crawling out of bed at 4 a.m. to secure yourself a spot in line at the local health center, which won’t open for four hours, in hopes of registering for a health number so that you can access the public system in your new home, and you’ll wonder if maybe you do miss the snow and the politics.
And those will be the hard moments.
For the past three years, I’ve been living in Portugal — the sixth country where I have held residency.
With all this experience under my belt, even the hard moments have begun to feel routine and straight-forward.
And if there is one thing that I can say with confidence that you must do when you move abroad, it is to be intentional and active in the way you settle into this new life you are building for yourself.
Here are my top tips for “actively settling” into your new community overseas.
1. Make friends
This important. At any age, with any relationship status, with or without kids, whatever your personal circumstances may be, get out there and make friends.
You need a community. You need people from your home country who understand exactly what you are going through—the language struggles, the immigration process.
And you need people from your new home country who have no idea what you’re going through but who know the city, the country, and the language you are learning like the backs of their hands.
It’s on you to go find these people. You need to put yourself out there, attend events, walk up to strangers, smile, shake hands, and then follow up and invite that person whose number you got to have a coffee.
It’s on you to build your community. It’s not going to find you; you need to find it.
2. Keep it simple
Absolutely go and have that Wednesday afternoon vinho verde in the sunshine, go on a sunrise hike on a Monday morning, jump in the ocean at lunchtime, but also just do the boring stuff.
The thing about life abroad is that it is still just … life.
You can (and will) glamorize it.
But ultimately, you still need to go to the grocery store and post office, get your teeth cleaned and your blood pressure checked, you still need to pick up prescriptions and update your driver’s license …
So allow yourself to live a boring life. It’s OK to skip a Wednesday afternoon vinho verde occasionally. Because, remember, you are not on holiday, and though you are somewhere new and exciting and beautiful and glamorous, this is not the sprint of a one-week getaway. This is your life now.
Take it slow; let it be dull, boring, and simple. In my experience, those who glamorize this move so much that they forget that they’re still simply living life are the ones who crash, burn, and ultimately head back to where they started.
I think the honeymoon phase, as many like to call it, is actually a very dangerous period. So right from the start, remember that it’s only your backdrop that has changed. Get into the mundane and allow the routine to remain.
3. Make time for your hobbies
If there is something that you loved doing before, you’re going to love it just as much in your new home. And having that passion, whatever it is, continue to be a part of your life is going to ensure that you feel more settled and at ease.
If you love pottery, find classes. If you have a newfound love for padel (sometimes called padel tennis, a racket sport of Mexican origin), goodness knows you can find a myriad of padel clubs anywhere in the world these days!
I’m a horseback rider, and wherever I go, I find a place to ride — even when I lived in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.
Remember that “Full Metal Jacket” quote “There’s not one horse in this whole country. There’s not one horse in Vietnam”? Well, I managed to find a few, because anywhere I live wouldn’t be home with them.
And, as much as it is important for you just to have your creative or physical outlet, being a part of the community that surrounds your hobby is going to help you integrate, and who knows, you just may make friends while you’re at it!
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